Contributing factor in most abusive relationships is......

    One factor, out of a few that contributes to the difficulty of facing abuse is probably the most common one of all- Women do not want to face the truth!! She would rather deny reality than to face the facts that she has become a victim. No one wants to believe that they are a victim of abuse. I certainly did not, which is why I sugar coated everything my boyfriend did to my body in his fit of rage. "Oh he didn't mean it or Oh he just had a bad day."   
      Just like when a chain smoker is told that their habit can very well lead to disease, even with conclusive evidence they still choose to ignore the fact that they may get lung cancer one day. It works the same way with all forms of abuse. We can ignore the signs and we can cover the bruises with a touch of covergirl and bronzer, but nothing can hide the inevitable. YOU ARE A VICTIM and there is nothing you can say to avoid that slap of reality.
     The first step is to face the truth. Look into the mirror at the beautiful woman who is looking back at you. Is her eye blackened? Is her lip busted? Or how about her nose? Is it slightly tilted from the broken nose her lover gave her for reasons that are not justified? You are too good for this type of treatment and you have to believe that within yourself! I do not care what kind of day that man had! No one has the right to put their hands on you and call that justified!
    I understand that all women want a great and healthy relationship. No woman wants to drag something negative out for a long period of time. Every time my boyfriend was in a great mood I would force myself to forget about him choking me just moments before. I just wanted to smile and to enjoy that split second of happiness we shared together as a family. But as time passed by, the abuse only escalated. The smile I used to wear on my face all day was no longer there. I stopped wanting those family gatherings all together.
    I know we feel the need to deny what is really happening so that we do not have to face the fact that our relationship/marriage is in a crisis. No one wants to feel like they have failed, even if we have had failed relationships in our past.  No one wants to be alone. But accepting abuse will not help you and your partner succeed. We may even fear what our partners will do to us if we voice our opinion.
   Once we have learned to face the truth, is when we can learn how to do something to change the situation. If we fail to accept it or recognize the elements of nonphysical abuse we will always remain in the same state of mind, the same home, dealing with the same situation. Nothing will change and nothing will get better and that is when you endanger you and the lives of your children. You are too good for this type of treatment!